Moving On

My recent health challenges have been around digestion and 3rd Chakra issues. One of my friends shared this:

"When I'm in rapid expansion of consciousness, my body can't keep up and my stomach is where the energy gets stuck."

This really resonates with me. And, when I posted in a DFW FB group I'm in, several ladies chimed in with similar challenges. Yes, similar journeys and similar challenges, mostly spiritual, when we peel the layers. Another friend said this:

“It's fascinating to me how many people I know who are on similar journeys and how most of them seem to be the spiritual ones. I wonder if we draw these experiences to ourselves for growth or if we are the ones who are most sensitive to the unnatural things in our environment or maybe a combination of both.”

It’s no accident that we draw to ourselves experiences and people for our own healing. And then I ask, “Am I open to healing? Am I resisting it?” Here’s what another friend shared about being open to NOW, rather than turning back to what we “know”:

The topic of resisting "going back" (as if we can, but still, for sake of conversation I will use the term) has been coming up in several venues lately. The idea of being in what is, in the present, and becoming comfortable with not knowing, rather than running/turning back to what is known. Even the desire to do that slows the flow of life coming our way...which is probably why we do it!! Ha!

And then, I had another insight: the other night, when the acid reflux was at it's peak, my heart felt like it was being squeezed and was literally hurting. (Steve almost took me to the emergency room! Oh, wow, EMERGE! That's what we are all doing . . . EMERGING!!! And there's a room for that? Amazing . . .)

The next day, I said to myself, "it feels as if I have a hole in my heart." The faces of my friend and my sister came into my mind and I was reminded how hurtful their rejection of me has been. Then, I said, "I'm choosing to heal that hole in my heart and move on."

Then, I saw something on a site that I visit regularly for Abraham quotes:

Everything that we're teaching here is about you deciding how much grief you're willing to put yourself through before you take the path of least resistance. And we're encouraging not very much grief. We're encouraging taking the path of least resistance really early on. If someone says, "I don't want to be with you," we'd say, "Okay," and we'd go find someplace else to be. We're not kidding you, we would not put up with any grief.
- Abraham-Hicks –

So, upon reading that, I decided, I made an active choice: No more crap! I choose to say, “OKAY! I’m moving on!” I feel so good to announce this!

Today, I selected a turquoise patterned top and reached for a necklace that my friend had given me. The thought came in:

"It's only jewelry, PJ, and it's pretty and you like it. So, wear it, already!" So I did.

Three months of healing . . . the hole in my heart is getting smaller. Also, the interesting thing is that I can feel the rift with my sister heal as I heal the pain from the loss of my friend.

Thank you, God. Thank you, Angels. I am being divinely supported as I heal and grow.

A few months ago, my best friend (I’ll call her Lucy, although that is not her name) texted me and Steve and told us that she was hurt and angry about something he posted on his FB page. (I can’t really go into more of what it was without betraying a confidence that I want to honor.)
We wrote back immediately, saying that the post had absolutely nothing to do with her, that Steve had written it 3 weeks ago and had just gotten around to posting it. Lucy blasted right back, admonishing both of us and also brought in another issue, which wasn’t even a part of her original criticism. Her last comment was: “I’m done.”
We sat and looked at each other in shock. Steve asked if he needed to apologize and take down the posting. I paused for just a moment and told him, “No.”
And that was that. Seven years of friendship was over. Much like a romantic break-up that you don’t see coming, I was awash in unbelief and sadness for days. Then, I was angry. Then, I remembered the 5 stages of grief:
1-Denial and Isolation
2-Anger
3-Bargaining
4-Depression
5-Acceptance
I moved through Denial and Isolation pretty fast. After a few days, I saw that Lucy wasn’t going to contact me and I didn’t feel led to do so myself. I reached out to a few of my friends in my Mastermind Group and they were very supportive. Steve was also very supportive.
I had lost a client a few weeks earlier to suicide and I felt that he just glossed over my loss. Later, we sat and talked about it one night and I felt that he finally “heard” me. So, when this loss occurred, he was particularly supportive and for that I was very grateful. My daughters were also very supportive. They understood my pain, since both of them have “lost” friends over the years of their young adulthood. With FB, it can be even more dramatic and hurtful.
Speaking of Facebook, Lucy immediately “unfriended” me and blocked me from seeing her comments. How do I know this? Because, her daughter continued to be my friend and I could see that my friend’s comments didn’t show up! Her husband continued to be my friend for a few weeks. Then, I noticed that he was no longer on my newsfeed. He unfriended me, but he hasn’t blocked me. I know because he shows up in people to whom I can send friend requests. LOL
So, now I am ANGRY! I was SO angry that I did pages and pages of journaling, working to rid myself of all of the rage and anger. Just like some of the experts recommend when you have a break-up with a romantic partner, I went through my house and removed all of the reminders of my friend: the chicken on top of my cabinets, the framed angel at my office, the special “sisters” coffee mug. It was just too painful to look at these items.
That week, I made a small casserole and when I took the crockery dish out of the dishwasher, my wet hands dropped it on the floor and it broke into several pieces. As I picked it up, I realized that it had also been a gift from Lucy. I was purging things that no longer served me.
After that week, I moved into Bargaining. I played the event over and over in my mind. What if we had done something different? What if we had reacted differently? What if, what if, what if?
Yet, in my heart, I knew that we just WERE. I am ME and Steve is Steve and there was no transgression on anybody’s part. We are perfect just the way we are and Lucy is perfect as she is. I knew this on a very deep level.
On a TV show that we watched during this enfolding, there was a stoic, male character who said to a female character, with whom he had been linked romantically and with whom he fathered a child, a fact which she did not reveal to him for sixteen years. He said to her:
“I will not forgive you.”
[Cue dramatic music and pan to the face of his Ex-lover]
“Because there is nothing to forgive.”
WOW! That is the essence of everything I aspire to! Nothing to forgive. There is NOTHING to forgive.
So, the next phase is Depression and I fell hard. It was now the middle of June and I was so low that I could barely get out of bed. I was sullen and sad and it was no fun. So, I called my friend in Allen, Stephanie McLaughlin and scheduled a healing session with her.
She is a wonderful massage therapist, who is also intuitive and brings in craniosacral therapy. She worked on me for a little over an hour and let me cry and process my feelings. (She is truly magnificent and is a master at holding space for healing!)
I left her office and immediately felt lighter! I sent her a note later, telling her, “Stephanie, I’ve got my JOY back!” And it was true! There was a lightness to my being and a joy in my heart again. I had forgiven my friend AND I had forgiven myself.
Interestingly, after the session with Stephanie, Lucy’s daughter reached out to me. She texted me that she was not offended by Steve’s post and that she hoped her mother and I could work out our differences. She said that she missed me! I was very touched by her message.
The last stage of grief is Acceptance. I guess that’s where I reside now. I’ve accepted that some friends “come for a season and some for a reason,” to quote something that one of my friends always says. I’ve accepted that Lucy was my companion for seven beautiful years, accompanying me through one of my biggest growth periods. She and I would text each other and talk several times a week. We were always there for each other.
Yet, one day, I noticed a huge benefit from the loss of Lucy’s friendship: my relationship with Steve was richer. I had a session with a client that was particularly challenging and when I was driving home, I called him. I shared from a deeper, more intimate place. As I hung up my phone, it came to me: a few months ago, I would have called Lucy. I didn’t even think of calling her that time. I thought of calling Steve. And then I did. What a gift!
Thank you, Lucy. I send you blessings from the deepest chamber of my heart. For in the words of Pierre Pradervand:
“To bless means to wish, unconditionally and from the deepest chamber of your heart, unrestricted good for others and events.
It is impossible to bless and judge at the same time. So hold constantly as a deep, hallowed, intoned thought the desire to bless, for truly then shall you become a peacemaker, and one day you shall behold, everywhere, the very face of God. And, of course, above all, do not forget to bless the utterly beautiful person you are.”

So, Lucy, if you are reading this, I send you blessings and all my love. For we will meet again in another life and share more adventures! We will also have a chance to commune on the Soul Plane and celebrate this life and the incredible growth that we both witnessed for each other. I can hardly wait to see what unfolds for us!

I Choose to Send Blessings . .

When dealing with a sad and unpleasant situation with one of my sisters, I asked my standard Access question one morning: “What’s it going to take for me to get over this?”
Within minutes, I was reading FB posts and saw a reference from one of my friends regarding sending blessings to people who have hurt us.
I was guided to do a search on-line for more information and found an amazing hypnotherapist in California named Marilyn Gordon. She had a series of articles and one of them was simply entitled, “Blessing Everything.” http://www.hypnotherapycenter.com/art_ble.html
In it, she references extending “heartfelt good will and the possibility of transcendence to everything.” She went on to say:
When you bless, there is an immediate shift in you as the extender of blessings, in your reality, and whatever or whoever is the recipient of your blessings. It all becomes filled with light.
When you bless, you send the energy of healing out from your heart and mind. If you are visual, you might see a situation transformed and healed. You might experience it as sending light. You might feel it surrounded with a protective kind of energy. You might hear the words “bless you” reverberating in yourself.
I remember a Theta Healing class I took in 2005 with Asara Lovejoy and Kathryn Perry. Kathryn proposed the idea of sending blessings to people we encountered during the day. Just say, “Blessings, blessings, blessings,” to someone you see with car trouble, someone you see arguing, someone you see in pain. That helps them and allows you a way to be of service to the world. (Since I am an Empath, it also allows me a way to support the person and disconnect from their energy!)
I began to regularly do this, although I don’t think I really connected with the deeper meaning. I even taught it to my husband, Steve, and we would routinely send blessings when we saw an accident on the road. I guess I wonder if we were just “saying the words.”
Now, as I look more deeply into the process of sending blessings, I feel that I was just going through the motions. I want to connect more deeply with the people whom I am blessing. This desire is what led me to Marilyn Gordon and her work.
She also adds:
Blessing equals healing. Blessing means, “I see this situation from an expanded view. I know this is in my life for some reason. More than likely, I am to become powerful from this. Perhaps there is some message that I am receiving from this. I bless it, and I accept my power.”
If you are one of those with a steel-trap mind that plays tapes over and over of slights you’ve experienced, grievances, perceived failures, hostilities, you can use that same quality of steadfast attention by sending blessings rather than condemnation or resentment.
Marilyn references one of my favorites, A Course in Miracles, which reminds us, “I can see peace instead of this.”
THIS GIVES ME BACK MY POWER!!!!
I can choose to see peace, YES, I can choose peace, instead of the hurt, the wrong doing, the injustice, or whatever. If I can choose to turn over and over in my mind the hurt, the snub, the harsh words, then I can also choose to replace that little video of pain with one of PEACE and BLESSING.
Marilyn says it best:
If my mind is so strong that I can return over and over to thoughts of insufficiency or conflict, it can be equally strong in returning over and over to blessing.
Isn’t that brilliant?
She also references a French writer named Pierre Pradervand and shares this:
He acknowledged that difficulties teach you and that trials are blessings in disguise. He said, “It is impossible to bless and judge at the same time.” This desire to bless, he says, helps you to become a peacemaker, and “one day you shall behold, everywhere, the very face of God.”
So, of course, I had to investigate Mr. Pradervand! I found that he is an author and leader in the field of social justice and personal development. He wrote a book called “The Gentle Art of Blessing.” He has also written several other books.
His personal motto is:
In any situation, I can always express love. Nothing can ever prevent me from loving
I will write more about Mr. Praderand on another day, although I want to close with this quote:
"To bless means to wish, unconditionally and from the deepest chamber of your heart, unrestricted good for others and events; it means to hallow, to hold in reverence, to behold with awe that which is always a gift from the Creator. He who is hallowed by your blessing is set aside, consecrated, holy, whole. To bless is to invoke divine care upon, to speak or think gratefully for, to confer happiness upon, although we ourselves are never the bestower, but simply the joyful witnesses of life's abundance." From The Gentle Art of Blessing by Pierre Pradervand
So, will you join me is sending blessings, REAL, heart-felt blessings to those in our lives whom we may not understand or even WANT to bless? Send a blessing today to someone close to you. Bless them, let them go and witness JOY in your own life.

So Long for Now

I lost a friend and client last week. She was a wonderful young woman, who was vivacious, intelligent, articulate and bigger than life. When she walked in, the whole room lit up. She had a throaty laugh like Joan Crawford or Betty Davis, but she when she talked, a tiny, little girl voice came out. She was an IT person by day, writing code and crunching products for a big corporation.

She was also an incredible artist.

Over the six years I knew her, she had 4 sessions with me. She did a past life regression, a coaching session and a life-between-lives exploration.(She also gave a past life regression to her boyfriend's sister for a Christmas gift!) Her last session was a new type of regression.

She called me and said she wanted to do another life-between-lives session. No one had ever asked for a second exploration like that before, so I asked if I could consult my guides. She agreed. My guides told me to regress her to a past life and then let her go to the Soul Plane, like in a life-between-lives session and then let her guides and angels take it from there.

I pitched the idea to her and she agreed. She filled out a short info form, to give me some questions to pose and then we set a day and time to meet.

Her session was one of the most beautiful sessions I have had the honor to facilitate. She literally flew to the Soul Plane. She loved her time there so much and the tears began to fall as she entered the energy of that space.

For the next hour, I posed questions or nudged her Soul and she shared some of the most beautiful truths about her life, her role "in between" and other revelations about her Soul. Later, my guides would tell me that I would do more of these "soul revelations" sessions with other clients.

When she went home, she wanted to capture some of what she saw and felt. It is the painting that is shown here. She kept saying that it was turquoise, turquoise, like she had never seen before. Then, she captured the essence of that color (and more) in the painting.

I hadn't talked to her in almost a year. I had no idea what she was up to. Because of her job, she posted rarely on Facebook and we weren't close friends.

Last week, she killed herself. I am really sad about her passing. Yet, I know that she is in Heaven, back on the Soul Plane, doing what she loves and resting up for her next incarnation.

Yes, she is in Heaven. I know this because of the work Steve does. There is no Hell and there is no purgatory. She is not STUCK or in Limbo. She went straight to Heaven . . . on a direct flight.... and she is painting and smiling and having fun. She is at peace. And I know that I will see her again, in another life.

Here's to you my friend . . . thank you for being in my life!

Don't Fear Entering the Cave

“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
― Joseph Campbell

Today's quote by master teacher Joseph Campbell talks about our fears, our shadow self and the things that we hide from ourselves and others.

How many of us fear or dread things that have no logical source? How many of our fears are rooted in childhood? Or past lives?

For example, you may have a fear of public speaking. So, you avoid it for years. Then, someone tells you about Dale Carnegie classes or Toastmasters and you decide to give it a go.

BAM! You love it! Your gifts and talents include public speaking! Only by going THROUGH the fear, do you find your treasure!

There are many more layers to this, such as hiding our creativity, because we "fear" we aren't good enough. Maybe a parent or teacher laughed at us or ridiculed one of our early artistic efforts. By healing that wound and being brave enough to let our creativity shine through, we may find a whole new way to be in the world!

Let Go of the Life You Planned . . .

Today, I am beginning a new series of blog posts, which are based on the work of Joseph Campbell. The quote I have chosen for today has great meaning for me:

“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

This one was a real puzzle for me, the first time I read it. What do you mean "the life I planned?"

Well, how many of us make plans, and sometimes those plans are made FOR us, by well-meaning parents or teachers or guidance counselors. Sometimes, those plans don't connect with our hearts and souls. Sometimes, those plans take us down paths that we don't want to take!

So, when I get in contact with my Soul,I can communicate and learn about my heart's desire. I can get in touch with what gets me up in the morning, what drives me! (And rarely is that more money! Although money is good in today's world!)

Daily communication in meditation, journaling and just listening to those Soul messages that usually come from the heart is so important.

Then, we can begin to see the life that is waiting for us, as it unfolds around us!

Letting Go of Self-Hate!

In today's suggestion, which is the last one from Shannon Kaiser's list, she discusses the topic of "self-hate."

"Let go of self-hate. You are not the shape of your body of the number on the scale. Who you are matters, and the world needs you, as you are. Celebrate!

WOW! What a special challenge she offers! We tend to get so caught up in our physical bodies! As I was typing this, I became so aware of my current struggle with the "number on the scale."

What if I just accepted that number? Isn't the irony or practical matter of the situation such that when I accept my body AS IT IS, then I have the ability to change it?

What we resist, persists . . . how many times have we heard that, seen it on Facebook and seen it modeled in our lives?

So, by accepting my body, in its present state, I have the power to change it, to become healthier, slimmer, more toned, etc.

Also, when we spend so much energy on resisting or rebelling or figuring out the next diet or exercise plan, we have less energy to expend on LIVING!

So, instead of "self-hate," I'm focusing on SELF-LOVE! One of my favorite spiritual teachers, Matt Kahn, invites you to say "I love you" three times, several times a day, by placing your hand over your heart and uttering the words (out loud if possible).

I know that I do this now, as a matter of course, during my day and it is so affirming! I even say it to my new puppy and feel that doing so is building that bond of love and trust that is so important.

This brings us to the end of Shannon's list of 20 Things to Let Go of Before the New Year (see below for the link if you want to see the entire list.) First of all, my thanks to Shannon. I LOVED this list and all that it brought into my life. Second, I'm not finished with my "lists."

Tomorrow, I will start with a quote from Joseph Campbell and then share 9 more, during my Ten Days With Joseph Campbell series.

So, "see" you then!

Here's a link to Shannon's wonderful article:

http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11973/20-things-to-let-go-of-before-the-new-year.html