This morning, as I was driving to my office (I drive 40 miles each way every day) I signaled a lane change and moved over to the right. I had plenty of room, but evidently upset the guy behind me in the monster truck, because he immediately flashed his brights and gunned it to go around me. I maintained my speed behind him and then he stepped on his brakes. I kind of expected that, so I was prepared. I resisted the urge to go around him and as I drove behind him, I pondered the fact that I even WANTED to go around him and “beat” him to the I-20 West exit.
Why do we do this? Why do “I” do this? That’s so “First Chakra” and “tribal” as my mentor Caroline Myss would say. All of the work I’ve done and I still want to “beat” someone to the next exit?
So, as I drove behind him and saw him go around another car and “leap frog” to the very front of the line on I-20, I thought: “What if I could send him light and love, instead of being pissed off or hurt or wasting energy on the guy in the monster truck?” So I did.
I imagined pink love and white light emanating from my fingertips as I raised my right hand off of the steering wheel, pointed it in his direction and kind of made a wave motion, as if love was flowing right toward him. Then, I said a prayer for him and one for myself.
Some of my teachers and mentors tell me that when “you spot it, you got it,” so I know that I’m projecting some of my own “bad ass” tendencies. Cocky people who take more than their share of the road bother me. People who drive big, monster trucks and then blow by me or almost hit me as they go around me REALLY bug me.
So, with the whole “shadow” concept in mind, I want to embrace the part of myself that gets upset over this type of behavior. Does it mean that a part of me wants to do that? Wants to be “king of the road” and lord it all over everyone? Maybe. Or, did I act like that in another life, in another time and now I’m getting to see what it feels like to witness it or be treated like that?
Yep, maybe so.
My prayer for myself is one that asks for my Higher Self to integrate and embrace those parts of that driver that I most abhor. And I embrace it long enough to take the emotional charge out of it and reduce the action to something equivalent to walking across the street. Neutral. Not bad, not good, just an action.
And then, I can go back to “be-ing” ME.