For the Love of Monster Truck Drivers . . .

This morning, as I was driving to my office (I drive 40 miles each way every day) I signaled a lane change and moved over to the right. I had plenty of room, but evidently upset the guy behind me in the monster truck, because he immediately flashed his brights and gunned it to go around me. I maintained my speed behind him and then he stepped on his brakes. I kind of expected that, so I was prepared. I resisted the urge to go around him and as I drove behind him, I pondered the fact that I even WANTED to go around him and “beat” him to the I-20 West exit.

Why do we do this? Why do “I” do this? That’s so “First Chakra” and “tribal” as my mentor Caroline Myss would say. All of the work I’ve done and I still want to “beat” someone to the next exit?

So, as I drove behind him and saw him go around another car and “leap frog” to the very front of the line on I-20, I thought: “What if I could send him light and love, instead of being pissed off or hurt or wasting energy on the guy in the monster truck?” So I did.

I imagined pink love and white light emanating from my fingertips as I raised my right hand off of the steering wheel, pointed it in his direction and kind of made a wave motion, as if love was flowing right toward him. Then, I said a prayer for him and one for myself.

Some of my teachers and mentors tell me that when “you spot it, you got it,” so I know that I’m projecting some of my own “bad ass” tendencies. Cocky people who take more than their share of the road bother me. People who drive big, monster trucks and then blow by me or almost hit me as they go around me REALLY bug me.

So, with the whole “shadow” concept in mind, I want to embrace the part of myself that gets upset over this type of behavior. Does it mean that a part of me wants to do that? Wants to be “king of the road” and lord it all over everyone? Maybe. Or, did I act like that in another life, in another time and now I’m getting to see what it feels like to witness it or be treated like that?

Yep, maybe so.

My prayer for myself is one that asks for my Higher Self to integrate and embrace those parts of that driver that I most abhor. And I embrace it long enough to take the emotional charge out of it and reduce the action to something equivalent to walking across the street. Neutral. Not bad, not good, just an action.

And then, I can go back to “be-ing” ME.

Grapevine Botanical Gardens - Cool in the Shade

Today I got to visit one of my favorite places on earth: the Botanical Gardens in Grapevine. My dentist is in Grapevine and I drove by the post office to drop off some packages before my appointment. On the way to my dentist’s office, I saw the Botanical Gardens and decided to stop in.

What a surprise: it was almost cool in the shaded areas, so with my bottle of water and camera in tow, I walked around. I found the most beautiful (and accommodating) butterfly, which flitted and fluttered around and allowed me to snap 20 pictures of it before it said, “OK, enough, already!” I snapped some beautiful flowers, too.

This place is particularly special to me because it’s the scene of my wedding to my husband Steve. Just over 8 years ago, we asked our daughters if they wanted to go out to dinner and told them we had a short stop to make. Steve ran into Tom Thumb to get some flowers and handed them to Meagan, our older daughter and we drove to the Botanical Gardens.

Once there, we were met by our friends Jim and Carol, who had been our teachers at the marriage class (well, BEFORE- Marriage Class) we had taken at Fellowship Church in 2001. Jim is also an ordained minister and he was thrilled to perform the ceremony. Carol stood by and took lots of pictures and then mailed them to us a few days later. They are really sweet people.

After the brief ceremony, attended only by Carol, Meagan and our younger daughter, Sara, we all went to Red Lobster and had dinner. All in all, a very special day!

I love the gardens, because of the transformation I’ve seen for that plot of land over the last 27 years. When we moved to Grapevine in 1983, it was a small park with a few trees and a small ravine that was either added for flood control or carved into the land by rain waters.

Over the years, a gazebo was added, as well as koi ponds, walkways and a home on the property was annexed to be a community center for meetings and parties. When we utilized it as the scene for our wedding, it had just undergone a major renovation, with the addition of covered walkways and a few bridges. All in all, it just keeps expanding and growing.

Now, there is wrought iron fencing all around the perimeter of the gardens, leaving the park area open for play and framed by trees for beauty.

Inside the gardens are birds of all types, butterflies, and dragonflies of many varieties. The flowers are every color of the rainbow and the caladiums and special green plants are breathtaking, too.
I sat in one of the covered areas and just snapped a few more photos and took in the color and beauty of nature . . . While in the shade, I tried to snap a small dragonfly, but he wasn’t as patient with me as the butterfly!

I guess the Botanical Gardens remind me of, well, ME! I’ve been transforming myself over the past 15 years, too! With each passing year, I grow and stretch, as I become all that I am to be!

Releasing Weight - My New Heart Adventure

I remember being told in my hypnosis training five years ago that Americans don't like the concept of "losing weight" so refer to it as "releasing excess pounds." As Americans, we DON'T like to lose!

I get it, but at the heart of it, it is about losing something that no longer serves us, releasing something and letting go. Yes, it's all of those things.

Over the past 30 years, I have gained and lost 50 pounds twice and it's time to lose it again!

In a meditation last night, I was clearly shown how this weight has protected me in many ways:

childhood hurts & abuse
wounds by people I love
sensitivity to others
defensive strikes
loss & grief
fear & shame
anger & rage
lack of love

In an earlier meditation, I was shown the door to my heart. With Google images and a little help from Paint software and the addition of a door knob, the graphic at the top is a pretty good

representation of what I saw. Inside, I saw this beautiful little girl in braids, dressed like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, swinging in a beautiful swing, decorated with yellow garlands of flowers up and down the ropes.

My little self, my Dreamer Self says she is ready to help me “peel away the layers.”
“I’ll help you,” she says, “and then I can come out and play.”

‘It’ll be fun---you’ll see.”

She went on to say that we will know fun and fearless flying and a type of Friendship I have never known.

Another interesting image was that the little girl (who I knew instantly was me) had a “heart-shaped” face and wore braids, just like I wore when I was young. When I really look at myself and take away the bangs that I have worn since my 20’s when blow dryers came into existence, I HAVE a heart-shaped face. My “widow’s peak” and my cheeks give me a heart shaped face. I just don’t see it, because I always have my bangs.

The little girl was swinging, going back and forth and zooming very high up. It was as if she was flying.

I have a feeling we have many more visits and interesting journeys to take together, now that I’ve found her again. And, I can’t wait to release all of these pounds. I have a feeling it will be easier this time!

Sheba, Wonder Dog

My dog Sheba is one of the most allowing creatures I know. When she sees me grab my keys, she immediately starts this little primitive dance and jumps and twirls like a ballerina or a Cherokee medicine man. She wants to go, so she sends out this positive vibration. She is not attached to the outcome; she just knows she is going!

With the Universe on her side, I can’t help but let her go with me, so I motion her out the door, into the garage. I open the car door and watch with a smile as she jumps over my seat into “her” seat by the window.

I have to put down the window just a bit as soon as I turn the key or she gives me “that look.” Then, she sticks her head out the window and begins to smile as we travel down the driveway and down the street toward rest of our small town.

For most of the places we want to go, I can forego the freeway and take surface streets, so I do. This enables Sheba to put her head out and enjoy the cool breeze and smells that are everywhere and not get her lips blown off! (Freeway driving can be hazardous!)

She will hang her head out the window for about a minute, then she brings it back in, shaking her head and letting her ears fall back down into place. She knows when she’s had too much wind and she ducks inside for a few seconds and then she’s out again.

Her smile would light up our entire town, if we could hook up a generator to her energy. She is happy, ecstatic and on a true spiritual high when she is riding in the car with me.

Sometimes, she turns to look at me as if to say, “Thanks, Mom,” and I feel her gratitude. Even more, I feel the love we share. Her love is unconditional and I am learning to return that unconditional love, even when she chews holes in her towel or drops mouthfuls of dog food on the carpet with no plans to eat it all.

Sheba is a German shorthaired pointer who is sleek and beautiful in her chocolate coat with chocolate and white ticking. I call her my “chocolate chip ice cream girl,” because her patches look just like that. We rescued her from a center up in Denton in 2004 and she has been a part of our family ever since. A few years ago, we decided (translation: I decided) that the other dogs were picking on her, so she gets to be the “inside dog” now. She sleeps on a towel on either the couch or the loveseat and graciously moves over to allow Steve and me to watch TV when we are home.

She sees spirits and alerts us when one of our relatives is visiting. Lately, she is seeing dog spirits and she finds this troubling. I have to reassure her that she is safe and Steve asks the Spirit to leave after a bit. Sometimes, I open the door and escort the dog spirit out of the house, so Sheba can watch TV in peace. (Yes, she loves our big screen TV, except when pigs, lions or particular animated creatures come on the set.)

She is my earth angel. I love her and I love the love that the two of us share. She can ride shotgun anytime she wants, except when I’m leaving for the office.

One day she was doing her dance on a Saturday as I was getting ready to leave for a client. I told her, “Sheba, sorry, but it’s not take your ‘Daughter to Work Day’ today. I’ll see you tonight.”

Loving Others

Over the past six months, I've been part of a study group led by a Harvard Professor/Reiki Master and we’ve been learning about manifesting. He has taught us that V + E + R = M

V - Visualization
E - Emotion
R - Release
M - Manifestation of the thing you want

Along the way, we’ve learned a lot about releasing, which he says is the most important part of the equation. Releasing is that means by which we “detach” and “let go” of our desire for the thing we are seeking. There are many tools to help us release and I’ve used most of them:
Law of Attraction
Focusing
EMDR
EFT
WHEE
Sedona
Ho-oponopono
Levenson’s Love Technique
Meditation

When we learned about the Sedona Method, we were introduced to the creator of this method, Lester Levenson. He said some amazing things:

“This thing called love is your basic nature. All the love in the universe is in your basic nature. You will discover that happiness—your happiness—equates to your capacity to love, and conversely all your miseries equate to your need to be loved. Just love, love, love and you will be so happy and healthy and prosperous. Remember, you need to release your non-love feelings. Try it, you will like it.”

Well, one day in meditation, I got a very clear nudge to take a tablet and write down all of the positive memories of my childhood, my parents, etc. What? Did I understand that correctly?

I’m beginning to be very trusting of my Guides, so I did as I was encouraged to do.

I filled two pages with memories from the skateboard I received at age 11, to the new dress my Mom made me for the 9th Grade Banquet. It was amazing how many positive things I could remember!

And, in the process, I began to see my parents in a different way. I had worked so hard over the last few years, releasing my “non-love” feelings. Yet, now I had some positive memories to fill the empty space. It was truly wonderful and I felt such a loving feeling toward BOTH parents.

I highly recommend it! Just take a tablet and start writing!

New Year, New Me!

I’ve been meditating in some form or another for about 7 years. Everyone we encountered in that first year of our new path of spiritual awakening recommended meditation. At first, I was put off. “I can’t seem to get rid of my busy mind,” I said. Some people called it “monkey mind,” and we would all laugh and lament our trouble meditating. Then, we met someone who told us that guided meditations were not only “OK,” but probably a must for anyone just starting out and those with a slight bent toward ADD! I want to thank Shannon Maxey for telling us this. Prior to her saying this, I was led to believe that if you didn’t sit in a dark room in a lotus position, you weren’t really meditating!
This new style of guided visualization was very helpful for me and so, I could transcend the world for a few moments, at first, and then for longer and longer periods of time. Next, I trained in hypnosis and opened my practice, and then I had a brand new appreciation for the mind, various states of mind, brain waves, etc.
I’ve used meditation CDs or MP3s from just about everyone: Kelly Howell, Brain Sync, Holo Sync, Silva Method, you name it, I’ve tried it!
My favorite tend to be those created by Sanaya Roman and her guide Orin. Just the other day, I was meditating with one of her MP3s and found myself floating and flying around the room in which I was meditating. Then, there was a progression of people from my past, people whom I had hurt in some way. As quickly as these came and went, a new wave began appearing in my mind’s eye: people who had hurt me in some way.
Just as soon as the progression ended, I had a very succinct feeling: All is forgiven and you have forgiven all. This feeling of forgiving and forgiveness was immediate and very healing. No words really entered my head or awareness, I just knew this. And, I knew that more healing was coming my way, each and every time I stop, breathe and disconnect from the world I know here on earth.
New Year, new me! Woo-Hoo!

What I Learned from Tatoo Artist Kat Von D

My husband, Steve, has a few tattoos. I remember when I first saw them, I didn’t know what to think. Only my two uncles who served in the Navy had tattoos! But, as I got to know him and love him, I understood the meaning behind each tattoo and how each one adds a subtle piece to his persona. He recently got a new tattoo of a war pony as a birthday present to himself. It’s a replica of a piece of Native American artwork that hangs over our fireplace mantle. The tattoo artist did an amazing job of recreating the pony!
Last year, he introduced me to this show on TV called “LA Ink.” It’s about a girl named Kat Von D, who owns her own Tattoo Shop and it features her and her staff and the interesting people they tattoo. The stories really are incredible. Many of the people get tattoos of deceased relatives, so that aspect is really interesting to both Steve and me.
On the last show, Kat was talking about writing a book based on her journals. She has kept journals of her personal thoughts about the people she has tattooed over the ten years she has been in business. She records the story behind each tattoo and then captures her feelings about the person and the tattoo. She said it helps her “process the incredible stories I encounter, so I don’t carry all that stuff around with me.”
This really hit home with me! I have been struggling with this very topic: how to clear myself each day of the client stories that I encounter. What a great idea! Journal my personal feelings and honor those feelings every day, after each client session.
Oh, I do EFT, primarily using some of my favorite scripts and the “Self Love” script from Brad Yates. However, some of the stories stay with me and I allow those to weigh me down. Sometimes, I get this “heavy head” feeling, which reminds me of the way I have felt in the past whenever I have had strep throat.
After learning about this idea, I sat down and captured my thoughts and feelings around the clients I saw this week. This was so therapeutic and liberating!!!
Thanks, Kat Von D!