Yesterday, I received a birthday card from my Mother. Now, this isn’t really unusual, because my Mother ALWAYS sends me a card, but this time, it is really special.
Ten years ago, after a nasty break-up with a man with whom I’d had a 3 year relationship and who I really thought I would marry, I changed my name. I decided that I wanted to be called by my initials, rather than my name. Shortly thereafter, I changed companies, as well, so just kind of “started over” with a clean sweep, new name, new me!
My family did NOT agree to calling me by my new name. At first, I thought it was because I hadn’t asked. So, I asked. Then, I decided it was because I didn’t explain. So I explained. Over the next 10 years, only one of them acquiesced and that was my Dad.
Most recently, I made ANOTHER plea, this time to EVERYONE and in WRITING. One sister wrote back and flatly refused. She said she wasn’t going to call me something that only one Uncle and my Ex-husband had called me. A brother-in-law (not her husband) wrote and said that “we don’t know who PJ is” and insinuated that “they” wouldn’t be calling me PJ anytime soon.
I talked to my husband about it: Isn’t this ridiculous? The only thing I have ever asked of my family and they won’t agree!
(I’d like to point out that my daughters jumped on board with this Day 1 and one of them routinely calls me PJ instead of Mom! Steve met me as PJ, so he never had a chance to call me anything else!)
And, then I got my birthday card from my mother! Inside was the most beautiful butterfly card, in shades of blue and purple with metallic, sparkling accents. Along with the traditional check for both birthday and Christmas (my birthday is only 4 weeks from Christmas) was a typed sheet of paper with a list of 11 names of various family members. Each one had changed his or her name, one doing so at age 50 and legally changing it in front of a judge.
Now I knew about each of these stories, but I had never thought to use this information as substantiation for my own request. At the bottom of the sheet, she said simply, “So, if you want PJ for a name, then go for it. I may not always remember, but I will try.”
I was jazzed, surprised and elated! WOW! She finally heard me! (You have NO idea how BIG this is for my Mom.)
And then, on the way in this morning, I had this thought: something in me has shifted and changed to allow this great gift.
If our outside world reflects what is on the inside, then I have really shifted something. So, what’s next?
Gratitude doesn't even begin to describe what I am feeling!
Ten years ago, after a nasty break-up with a man with whom I’d had a 3 year relationship and who I really thought I would marry, I changed my name. I decided that I wanted to be called by my initials, rather than my name. Shortly thereafter, I changed companies, as well, so just kind of “started over” with a clean sweep, new name, new me!
My family did NOT agree to calling me by my new name. At first, I thought it was because I hadn’t asked. So, I asked. Then, I decided it was because I didn’t explain. So I explained. Over the next 10 years, only one of them acquiesced and that was my Dad.
Most recently, I made ANOTHER plea, this time to EVERYONE and in WRITING. One sister wrote back and flatly refused. She said she wasn’t going to call me something that only one Uncle and my Ex-husband had called me. A brother-in-law (not her husband) wrote and said that “we don’t know who PJ is” and insinuated that “they” wouldn’t be calling me PJ anytime soon.
I talked to my husband about it: Isn’t this ridiculous? The only thing I have ever asked of my family and they won’t agree!
(I’d like to point out that my daughters jumped on board with this Day 1 and one of them routinely calls me PJ instead of Mom! Steve met me as PJ, so he never had a chance to call me anything else!)
And, then I got my birthday card from my mother! Inside was the most beautiful butterfly card, in shades of blue and purple with metallic, sparkling accents. Along with the traditional check for both birthday and Christmas (my birthday is only 4 weeks from Christmas) was a typed sheet of paper with a list of 11 names of various family members. Each one had changed his or her name, one doing so at age 50 and legally changing it in front of a judge.
Now I knew about each of these stories, but I had never thought to use this information as substantiation for my own request. At the bottom of the sheet, she said simply, “So, if you want PJ for a name, then go for it. I may not always remember, but I will try.”
I was jazzed, surprised and elated! WOW! She finally heard me! (You have NO idea how BIG this is for my Mom.)
And then, on the way in this morning, I had this thought: something in me has shifted and changed to allow this great gift.
If our outside world reflects what is on the inside, then I have really shifted something. So, what’s next?
Gratitude doesn't even begin to describe what I am feeling!
