I lost all 4 of my grandparents in a four year period in the late 60’s & early 70’s. My family is not really into feeling feelings or talking about feelings. We lost someone, had a funeral and got on with work and life. That was that!
When I was a Senior in High School, I did my Sr. paper on the American Way of Death, a book by Jessica Mitford, which is an expose and an exploration of the American funeral industry. I was fascinated by death and what happens when we die and had lots of questions that my family and church couldn’t answer. I also had a lot of feelings around the loss of my grandparents that no one helped me feel, process, heal and release. I even went to counseling for a short time in college, trying to deal with all of my feelings.
Then, as so often happens, I got busy with graduating from college, getting married and then divorced and then getting married again and having two daughters.
Fast forward to 2000, when I met my husband Steve and he told me that he heard voices and saw spirits. We began an adventure in studying mediumship and learning how to communicate with those on the other side. As we began to work with grieving people, the need for tools to help people grieve and heal became apparent. In 2008, I wrote an E-book on grief and led several workshops for grieving people. In 2015, I was led to update the book and publish it.
2. What is your best recommendation for the person who feels they will never turn the corner with the grief they are experiencing?
To allow yourself to feel what you feel, whatever you feel, for as long as you want to feel. No time limit is especially important. Someone put out the idea that it takes a year. On some levels that makes sense. Yes, it helps to go through birthdays, holidays, the death anniversary date and feel, process, heal and release your feelings. But, there is nothing set in stone about one year. I talked to a lady yesterday who is still in heavy grief over her mother’s death, which happened almost 4 years ago.
Remembering that there is no timetable seems to help a lot of people. Giving yourself permission to grieve is also important. We tend to be hardest on ourselves! So, give yourself the space to grieve. Also, give yourself the support system to grieve. If that is family, great. If your family is NOT the best support system, admit that to yourself and find a group. There are a number of groups, whether you have lost a child or a spouse or a pet.
You might also benefit from a support friend. I call this an accountability buddy. Or a spirit buddy or pal. There may be someone in your life right now who can fill that role for you. There may not be. That’s when groups like our Soul Compass Community or The Now Center or SoulTopia Classes can be so helpful. You go to these events with what I call “like-hearted friends” and you can find a friend or friends with whom you can share your grief, and feel, process, heal and release your feelings.
Now, with that as a base: 1.Giving yourself permission. 2.No timetable 3.Support person or group, you can use some of the tools in my book to support you on your grief journey.
3. Will you tell us a little about EFT and how it works?
EFT is an amazing modality that I found in 1999, after a breakup, when I was dealing with grief in a BIG way. You see, I had NEVER grieved for the losses of my grandparents, including my beloved Granny. Then, I never grieved the loss of my first marriage. Then, I never grieved the loss of my second marriage. When the guy I had dated for 3 years dumped me around the time of my birthday in November 1999, I cratered!!! I found a counselor on-line and did sessions with him and learned EFT.
EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It makes use of the body’s electrical pathways, also called meridians in Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture. The Chinese believe that everything we feel or witness, everything that is done to us or everything we do, is held in the body, along electrical pathways called Meridians. If your heart stops, the medical staff will use a defibulator to revive you, right? You may also know how an acupuncturist places small needles in the body to release blockages in your chi or prana or energy system? Well, you can use your fingers to tap and release energy blockages, also. EFT is also called Meridian Tapping or just “Tapping.”
By tapping on 10 different points on the face, torso and wrist, you can clear energy from 14 meridians. Each of these meridians represents an organ or organs and an emotion or emotions. It’s really very interesting and amazing. (Email me for directions)
I love EFT for its simplicity and effectiveness.
I have an audio on my website, just click “Grief” and find 4 different audios that support the tools in my book. One will take you through EFT, one is a meditation where you can meet one of your guides or angels and one is a meditation that helps with grief. The last audio is a basic meditation.
My website is: soulrevelations.com
4. What other tools do you recommend for grief?
In my book, you will also see a reference to meditation, writing letters to your friend or loved one who has passed, journaling and a few other tools, such as The Quick Coherence Technique from Heart Math.
5. What oils and crystals do you recommend for someone experiencing a "loss" of a loved one?
Well, I learned a lot about crystals for grief from you!!! (My friend and mentor, Michelle Welch of SoulTopia.guru) You really helped me when I lost my Uncle last August and I’ve since shared that recipe with lots of people. I think you start with Yellow or Honey Calcite, which also relates to the Archangel Azrael, the Angel of Grief. You have those wonderful bracelets made of yellow calcite and I find bracelets are one of the easiest ways to “arm” ourselves with crystals. Pun intended! Then, the recipe you shared with me that day is:
Yellow Calcite
Apache Tear
Smokey Quartz
Rose Quartz
Amethyst
Clear Quartz
You put those crystals in a small organza bag and I carried them with me in my purse for the entire day that I traveled to and from the funeral service in West Texas. I continued to wear my bracelets and carry the crystals for a week or two, as I continued to feel my feelings and grieve. Then, I carried a piece of yellow calcite and apache tear in my pocket for a few more weeks. I love the way you can carry crystals with you in pockets or purse or wear jewelry, such as bracelets or pendants or beaded necklaces.
I also talk about specific crystals for each of the symptoms of grief in my book. You may be dealing with:
-Disbelief and Shock
-Sadness - depression
-Guilt
-Bitterness
-Anger
-Fear
-Lack of Trust
-Physical Symptoms: insomnia, pain,
-Acceptance and Moving on
-Forgiveness
Essential Oils have also helped me with my grief journey and so I included them in my book, as well. I have a favorite recipe called Liquid Xanax, which I really love. I carry it with me daily and apply it 4 to 10 times a day, depending upon what is going on. That recipe is in my book or you can Google it and find it easily. I apply to the underside of my wrists, the "pulse points." Also, I inhale deeply 3X whenever I apply an essential oil. That sends the oils directly into the olefactory system and into the brain in just seconds. Within 20 minutes, the oils penetrate every cell in your body from the topical application. You can also diffuse essential oils in a water-based diffuser. There are lots of ways to utilize essential oils for physical and emotional symptoms.
In my book, I also share specific essential oils for each grief symptom, in case you don’t have access to doTERRA or Young Living essential oils and the great blends that they carry.
For example, Lavender is a great essential oil for calming and for support. Neroli is another one that is great for grief. Bergamot is another one. Did you know that Bergamot is what they put in tea to make it Earl Gray Tea?
You can see my book for at least one crystal and one essential oil for each symptom of grief and some general recommendations, as well.
5. Are all types of grief treated the same way?
Just as there are different and unique people, there are different types of grief. That’s why I give lots of different tools for the different symptoms and different passages of grief.
6. I know you are a past life regressionist, can that be beneficial for grief?
Sometimes. Of course, I believe that the key people in my life are also soul mates. I don’t believe that we have just one Soul Mate and that’s a whole other discussion!
When we lose a friend or loved one who is really close, we may feel that Soul-to-Soul connection more deeply. Many times, by reviewing a past life, whether in a regression or a reading, you can get a clue or key to why that person’s departure may be so grievous. In learning this information, getting that key can be very healing. However, I want to point out that in 10 years of facilitating past life regressions, I have never recommended this. It’s a very personal decision to visit your past lives and a person’s Higher Self or angels and guides will always nudge them to do so, when it will be beneficial. It is my belief that it is best to wait for this nudge and then facilitate the journey.
7. How can listeners get your book?
My book is available on Amazon as a paperback and Kindle and at places in DFW, such as SoulTopia, the Now Center’s Holistic Boutique and Holistic Connections in Waxahachie.
The book is Navigating Grief with Grace . . .
8. And how can they get in touch with you?
Easiest way is my website: soulrevelations.com or just Google: PJ Spur
If you have any questions about what I’ve shared or about my book, please contact me!
To get more information on A1R Psychic Radio and Michelle Welch's Show, visit: http://www.ask1radio.com/
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